WHEN YOU READ......IT REALLY MEANS
Luxury Living....It Has A Jacuzzi
Great Starter Home......One Room With a Toilet
Well Below Market......Nobody Else Wants It
Plenty of Parking.........Stadium Across the Street
Extra Storage.......Four Hooks
Sunken Tub.......Floor Unlevel
Gated Community.......Bad Neighborhood
Rent With Option to Buy........Been on the Market for Years
Cathedral Ceiling.........A Bear to Heat
Nighttime Security.........Street Lights Shine into All Windows
Safe Neighborhood........Nosy Neighbors
Executive Neighborhood......Everyone's Last Name is Jones and Expect To Keep Up With Them
Victorian Sweetheart.......Strip 8 Layers of Paint Then Steam off the Wallpaper
Shows Well.......The Seller Cleans It For Showings
Immaculate.......Remove Shoes. Tip Toe In.
Commuter's Dream......At The Bottom Of The Off-Ramp
Nice Condition.....But Get out the paint
Quaint.......Better Buy a Wallpaper Steamer
Will Help Finance......Owners Know They're Asking Too Much
Reduced To Move.......Been on the Market for Two Years
Prime Location.......Ask Price While Sitting Down
Close to Schools....Busses Go Up and Down Your Street All Day
Everything's Been Updated.....But the House Has Been Condemned
Natural Setting.....You'll Spend Your Weekends Doing Yard Work
Handyman Special......Forget It!
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